Every life science has a set of core assumptions it operates out of. The core assumptions of CBT is based on the assumption that the quality of our thoughts impact how we relate to our life’s experiences. This means that the attitude and approach we take towards life, relationships and people will influence the outcomes we experience throughout life.
Core Assumptions of CBT:
1- PEOPLE ARE PROCESSORS OF EXPERIENCE RATHER THAN PASSIVE VICTIMS OF CIRCUMSTANCE.
Humans are meaning-making machines: nothing has meaning until we assign meaning to it. We are quick to assign definitive conclusions onto events in life, be they positive or negative. The problem with this behavior is that it endorses an ignorant belief that the way we see things is the way things actually are.
2- PEOPLE ARE NOT BROKEN ENTITIES WHO NEED TO BE FIXED: THEY JUST NEED TO BE UNDERSTOOD.
People who believe they are broken entities are subconsciously subscribing to the belief that they are in need of ‘fixing’. Therefore, they spend their lives waiting for someone to enter their lives to do so: they hope a new romantic partner will fix their depression; that their mother will tell them what to do with their life and make the pain go away; they hope a therapist can cure their OCD or they hope their friend can take away their loneliness for them. This attitude makes people needy; they need a certain person to be a certain way to make them feel a certain way.
3- IF PEOPLE LEARN UNHELPFUL WAYS OF THINKING, THEY CAN ALSO UNLEARN THEM AS EASILY.
People get easily trapped in their ways of thinking which have usually become ingrained through their interpretations of past events. I believe I can show you that thinking patterns are not illnesses or diseases which are fixed: anything a mind can do can also be undone.
4- EVERY PERSON IS SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, ACTIONS AND BEHAVIOR.
We do not become empowered in an area of our life until we take full responsibility for it.
It empowers us because this rationality sets us free from needing other people to come through for us and make things better. In most cases, it’s our thoughts which disturb us most in life rather than other people and circumstances; which means taking responsibility for our thoughts equals more effective emotional management.
5- WE CAN’T CONTROL THOUGHTS ENTERING OUR MIND, BUT WE CAN CHOOSE TO ACT UPON THEM OR NOT.
Many people assume that because they believe something is true, it is true. However, both thoughts and feelings are fleeting entities: they come and they go (provided we let them). The assumptions which impact us the most in life go on to form our beliefs, and maturity is about growing up and out of the limiting beliefs we adopted when we were young and into something more grounded and stable which serves other people.
6- ALL PEOPLE HAVE THE ABILITY TO CHOOSE A NEW SET OF HABITS, THOUGHT PATTERNS AND BEHAVIORS.
The past does not determine the future. Just because a person has succumbed to a set of thought patterns in the past does not mean that they will for the rest of their life. No one else can take responsibility for growing and changing a person other than that person. People must choose to grow through experiences rather than choose to be crushed by them.
We can’t choose what happens to us, but we can choose how we respond to life…
7- THE MEANING OF OUR COMMUNICATIONS IS DETERMINED BY OTHER PEOPLE, NOT BY US.
When we go through life speaking our minds and speaking our hearts to others, we rarely consider how our message or our attitude is being received and interpreted by other people. I suggest that to be far more reflective with your communications and consider not only what you say, but how you say what you say because the way we speak may create barriers between ourselves and others without our knowledge.
8-BEING BETTER IS BETTER THAN FEELING BETTER
Most people are desperate to feel better. When we are experiencing emotional, physical or spiritual pain, our instinctive need to feel better can take on a life of its very own. Most of us don’t even realise our subconscious is working in overdrive to do whatever it takes to avoid these negative feelings. However, the problem with this is that what makes us ‘feel’ better usually is not what actually makes us ‘get’ better.
Feeling better can come about through a variety of different remedies; although some will look better than others, they usually all have the same result. The truth is that such remedies are only ever temporary diversions from our emotions or situations we’re facing in life, and they often prolong the underlying issue.
In essence, remedies that make us feel better are like putting a plaster over an infected would: it doesn’t deal with the root of the issue. Excessive work, busyness, shopping, exercise, eating, computer games, and TV can all provide a mental escape and help us feel better in the short term – but the problem is just that: it’s a temporary solution!
9- OUR INTERNAL WORLD MANIFESTS ITSELF IN OUR OUTSIDE WORLD
Thought power is the key to creating our reality. Everything we perceive in the physical world has its origins in the invisible, inner world of our thoughts and beliefs. To become the master of your own destiny, we must first learn to control the nature of our habitual negative thinking patterns. In doing this, we begin to attract into our lives more of the things we actually want as we come to realize this truth: our thoughts create our reality.
For every ‘outside effect’ there is an ‘inner cause’: every effect we see in our outside world has a specific cause which originated in our inner or mental world. This is the very nature of thought power. In other words, the circumstances and conditions of our lives are a result of our collective thoughts and beliefs. Every aspect of our lives, from the state of our health to the state of our finances and our relationships, reveals our thoughts and beliefs.
10- HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE
Do you know any difficult people in your life? Individuals who are easily offended by words? You have to watch everything you say around them through fear that you’ll set off a trigger in them that leads them to lash out in anger. Or perhaps this person is you. Do other people walk on eggshells around you? Do they avoid you? Do they hold back for fear of how you will react?
If you don’t deal with your own hurts, you end up hurting others. When you don’t forgive other people, you hurt. When you don’t forgive yourself, you hurt. This is true on a physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual level.
11- WHAT WE FOCUS ON HAS AN EMOTIONAL CONSEQUENCE.
Have you ever stopped yourself abruptly after realising you’d been focusing on something unhelpful for too long? Perhaps it was something that didn’t go well in your day or something offensive that someone else said. Whatever the situation was, it was something you knew was not a big deal in the grand scheme of life, and yet you felt the need to mentally replay it over and over in your mind.
Every time you give power to the little things that seem to bother you — when another driver is rude to you on the road, or someone doesn’t return your email right away — you’re choosing to be that anxious, unproductive energy. Every time we get caught up in our need to feel liked, approved of and respected or focus on how other people have wronged us, we are choosing to be the fear of being mistreated. Thinking is more than just an activity: it actually manifests as a state of being.
12- PLASTERS DON’T HEAL WOUNDS
As previously mentioned, there are many things we can do to make us ‘feel better’. However, such things are only ever temporary diversions from the emotions or situations we’re facing in life. Plasters don’t heal wounds, but dealing with the root of the problem does. Dealing with the root of the problem means learning to identify and grow up out of the limiting beliefs and destructive thought patterns that we developed at an earlier stage in life.
